When I sensed the SPIRIT leading me to begin making these videos – To step out in a VOCAL WAY with Psalms, Scripture and Spiritual Warfare Prayers, I put it on ‘the back of the fire’, so to speak. I wasn’t exactly terrified but knew not only would it take a LOT MORE PRAYER and time for these Intercessory Videos, I knew it would be another excuse for our ‘haters’ to show up – pitchforks and torches blazing! Praise Abba He’s blessed us – we keep our eyes on HIM.
So after receiving a leading, I Prayed a few weeks - fasting periodically and asking RUACH for confirmation. THEN somewhere in the middle of seeking His Wisdom, the Spiritual Warfare ESCALATED like a rocket. OhhhhK. It was just another confirmation that the SPIRIT was leading me and the Word I’d received was on target! Bill confirmed it independently, along with a few others. I put aside my hesitation and then, Prayed for direction, asking how to proceed. I needed to get this right for HIM. He showed me what He wanted, and I THOUGHT I was good to go...YES! But soon after that during morning Bible Study, RUACH began gently shedding LIGHT on something I needed to deal with first…something (I thought) I’d completely dealt with YEARS ago.
I sensed THE ANOINTNG hanging like a glittering gem ready to burst forth, but understood it would be held back until I dealt with a jagged pebble of resentment left from hurtful events that happened 20 or so years ago! OY! RUACH told me I needed to Pray and be liberated from it - IMMEDIATELY and THOROUGHLY, BEFORE the anointing would be poured out. So I grabbed my Scriptures and delved deep…There it was inside me…a little nugget of resentment from being gossiped about and openly ridiculed when I’d stepped out and used my voice in ministry.
Betrayal, especially from Headship, is never easy. I threw myself on Yahushua’s compassion and asked Bill to take me through Prayer Liberation (a.k.a. Deliverance) that VERY day. I needed the RUACH to remove the spirits of rejection and fear lurking within me. I wanted NOTHING to hinder the anointing! NOTE: I did not CLAIM that spirit by calling it ‘my spirit of fear’! It was NOT mine even when it oppressed me. Remember the POWER of your thoughts and of SPOKEN WORDS - do NOT make self-proclamations or judgements. Instead, PRAY THIS. The spirit of fear belongs to hell and that very day we sent it BACK from whence it came! But the question is, how could this be? When I’d already gone through deliverance and cast out those spirits before?
Our souls are multi-faceted, made in the image of the Almighty. AS we (dedicated to Yahushua) learn and grow, Yahushua peals back layers of dross, removes leaven and cleanses us deeper…But foundational Purity takes HIS TIMING. HIS WEAPONRY. HE KNOWS WHAT WE’RE READY FOR AND WHEN. And we need to TRUST HIM so ALL THE LAYERS of the ego can be stripped away.
We all fall short. Ultimately, I had to sever unrighteous soul ties with an entire thought process and spiritual ‘system’ that came under the headship of the Roman Catholic Church (even though the church I attended back then was a protestant congregation, they still collaborated with and bowed to Rome). I had to repent of my thinking, FEELINGS, and ignorance concerning ties to that False Headship. I had to really, truly FORGIVE those who had hurt me (which requires Obedience – NOT FEELINGS of remorse for what others inflict on you). WE PRAYED Deliverance Prayers and LIBERATION was so sweet! THEN, I excitedly (filled with great Joy!) RECLAIMED and REDEDICATED MY VOICE to the Authority, FIRE, and PURPOSES of the RUACH haQODESH. HALLELUYAH!
I still don’t particularly enjoy the sound of my speaking voice. BUT YAHUWAH knows it, loves it and has begun using it in new and joyful, MORE DYNAMIC ways! He POSSESSES not only my Voice, but all of me. He abides in the depths of my temple, and I Pray that I submit to His Authority COMPLETELY, every day. I KNOW that even those parts yet to be dismantled and purged with HIS FIRE are already His! I TRUST HIM to lead and guide me, knowing how imperfect I am before Him. Remember - Obedience in Love opens gates of LIGHT for our liberation and healing - Gates that can take us into heavenly realms where PILLARS OF POWER burn with Spiritual FIRE in the PURITY of HIS KADOSH PRESENCE.
HalleluYAH! WE have VICTORY BECAUSE YAHUSHUA LIVES!